The Most Wonderful Time To Be A Mum

Hurrah! Tis the season to be jolly.

Perfect timing for the next instalment of ‘Ain’t Motherhood Great’. When I’ll be skipping over the fact that it’s jolly hard work and jolly exhausting; and I’ll be looking at all the jolly good stuff that make’s you feel jolly well… erm… jolly!
My list of reasons why motherhood is great is longer than Santa’s to-do list, but I’m sure you’re busy so I’ll aim to keep it short and sweet (just how I like my gingerbread men, phwoar).
So get the kids to bed, grab a mulled wine and find out why being a mum at Christmas is so bloody brilliant!
Spreading Joy
When I signed up to be a mum I had no idea how much singing was involved. Back in the day I enjoyed the occasional sing song in the shower but these days I sing all over the city. Any time. Any place. Any nursery rhyme I can remember the words to.
‘Grand Old Duke of York’ in Tesco. Don’t mind if I do.
Oinking in the street. Love it!
Belting out ‘The Wheels on the Bus’ on an actual bus with an actual baby going ‘Wah, wah, wah!’ Brilliant!
I understand spreading cheer on the 192 ain’t everyone’s cup of tea but this month it’s Christmas. Everyone’s at it! Singing at strangers on their doorsteps would be weird in August, but it’s December guys. And it’s a scientific fact that singing releases endorphins and makes you happy. It feels good, real good. So let’s crank the carols up to 11 and make some people merry. All together now…
“Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer….’
 
Rocking Around the Christmas Tree

I love a little boogie. Who doesn’t? (Well, my other half actually, but that’s OK cos he holds the jackets and drinks so I can really go for it. Teamwork makes the dream work folks).
While my days of boogying on the dancefloor have been dramatically reduced, the hours spent spinning around my living room have quadrupled. No time for the gym but all the time in the world for getting down and funky. And with a little person glued to my hip it’s double the workout. Now ‘IT’S CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAS’ (in a Slade stylee) so we’ll have Christmas tunes on all day long (soz Dad)! I’ll be eating like a pig but I’ll be rocking like a robin with a cracker up its ass, which means I can justify eating a whole tub of Celebrations in a oner. Winning!
 
National Lampoon’s Christmas Traditions
When you’re a mum you become boss of the house. Well, I’m more like PA to the boss actually. But regardless of where I stand in the chain of command, mums are usually the ones taking care of business at Christmas. So here’s a few Christmas traditions I’ll be enforcing for years to come.

• Father Christmas Photoshoot – I mean, I’ve got millions of photos of my kid but you can’t beat a good ‘Kid Crying on Santa’ pic. In 15 years time my Christmas photo collection will become a Buzzfeed classic.


• Tinsel Tug of War – Decorating will be a happy family experience we will love every year and I won’t let 4 weeks of shouting ‘Put down your weapon and step away from the tree,’ ruin my our experience. (I hope).


• MAD Booze Up – MAD short for Mum and Dad. When we dump the kid with the G folks and hit the bars so we can spend all night talking about the kid and go home before midnight ‘cos we’re knackered. Mad for it!


• Afternoon Snooze – A rare treat these days so I will be making sure we make time for one guilt-free snooze and enjoy every last minute of i…..

Waaaaaaaaahhhh.
Oh FFS, he’s awake already.

• Gingerbread House –I love the idea of decorating a gingerbread house together every Christmas. This year it’s a flatpack from IKEA without instructions and I’ll be assembling it with a toddler. What could possibly go wrong?

Don’t answer that. And before you say anything of course it’ll be decorated in organic dried fruit.

• The Christmas Debate –An annual ‘debate’ with dad about who’s had the least sleep, who’s done the most childcare and who deserves the most alcohol. Where other traditions may fade into obscurity I reckon this will be one we’ll stick to for a while.

 
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Children have this amazing ability to make the mundane feel like the most magical experience of all time. I can’t thank my son enough for bringing wonder and amazement to all the things I previously took for granted (Ice cream, light switches, remote controls). If you enjoyed the magic of Christmas before kids hold on to your santa hat cos things are gonna get a sack load more magical.
Fairylights. WOW! Our kid’s pretty impressed with a neon takeaway sign (the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree) but the look on his face when the streets are lined with tiny flashing lights is priceless.
Advent Calendars. YAAAY! What’s this mum? A little window to open every day and a piece of chocolate just for me? Like, every day? Best. Month. Ever.
Presents. OOOH! Chances are he’ll be as happy with the boxes as he is with the gifts inside but if cardboard puts a smile on his face then that’s OK by me.
Family and Friends. Awwwwwww. All the gang together. Singing. Dancing. Playing. Wearing silly hats. The second most important thing for a mum at Christmas.
The first?
Come on ladies, think about all those times you thought of cracking open the prosecco at 7am. This is our moment mamas! It’s not called the most wonderful time of year for nothing.
Merry Christmas lovelies
xxx